If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For free, confidential support 24 hours a day, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat online at thehotline.org (American Psychiatric Association, n.d.). If you're having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988.
Domestic violence is often pictured as bruises and broken bones. But abuse can also look like a partner who checks your phone, controls the money, or makes you feel like you're losing your mind. It can happen to anyone, at any age, in any type of relationship. And its effects can reach far beyond the two people in the relationship, touching children, families, and friends.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This year's national theme, "With Survivors, Always," calls on all of us to move from awareness to action (National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 2026). In that spirit, PAWC has created a series of articles to help you understand domestic violence in all its forms, recognize the signs in your own life or in the life of someone you love, and know where to turn for help.
Why This Matters
Domestic violence is far more common than many people realize. More than 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the U.S. have experienced intimate partner violence in their lifetime (American Psychiatric Association, n.d.). Nearly all survivors also experience financial abuse (National Network to End Domestic Violence, 2014). And about 1 in 15 children are exposed to violence between their parents or caregivers each year (Hamby et al., 2011).
Yet many people living with abuse don't recognize it, especially when it isn't physical. Survivors are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), along with fear, isolation, self-blame, and low self-esteem (American Psychiatric Association, n.d.). Understanding what abuse looks like is often the first step toward safety and healing, whether you're experiencing it yourself, worried about someone you love, or still recovering from the past.
How the Series Fits Together
Each article in this series stands alone, but together they form a more complete picture of how domestic violence takes hold, why it is so often misunderstood, and what it takes to move forward. We recommend reading them in this order:
Part 1: Understanding Domestic Violence
1. Domestic Violence and Mental Health: Recognizing Abuse and Finding a Path to Healing. Start here. This article explains what domestic violence is, the different forms it can take, the warning signs, and how abuse affects mental health.
Part 2: Recognizing the Forms Abuse Can Take
2. Coercive Control: Recognizing Domestic Violence Without a Single Bruise. Learn how a pattern of isolation, monitoring, and control can be just as harmful as physical violence, and why it's recognized as abuse under California law.
3. Is Your Partner Tracking You? Why Digital Abuse Is Domestic Violence and How to Stay Safe. Discover how phones, apps, and smart devices can be used to monitor and control, and how to protect yourself safely.
4. Financial Abuse: When Money Becomes a Tool of Control in Domestic Violence. Understand how controlling money, sabotaging work, and coerced debt keep people trapped, and the steps toward financial safety.
5. Consent and Sexual Assault: Understanding What Happened and Finding Support. Learn what consent really means, what sexual assault is, and how to make sense of an experience that still doesn't feel right.
Part 3: Understanding Who Abuse Affects
6. Domestic Violence in LGBTQ+ Relationships: Recognizing Abuse and Finding Affirming Support. Explore the unique tactics and barriers LGBTQ+ survivors face, and how to find affirming care.
7. Teen Dating Violence: What Parents Need to Know and How to Help. Learn how common dating violence is among teens, the warning signs, and how to talk with and support your teen.
8. How Domestic Violence Affects Children: Understanding the Impact and Helping Children Heal. Understand how witnessing abuse affects children at every age, the long-term outcomes, and how children can heal.
Part 4: Making Decisions About the Relationship
9. Why Leaving Isn't Simple: Understanding the Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship. Understand why leaving is so hard, from fear and finances to custody concerns and stigma, and how to get support without having to leave first.
10. Can an Abusive Partner Change? What Real Change Looks Like and How to Protect Yourself. Learn the difference between empty promises and genuine change, and why it's never your job to change someone else.
Part 5: Supporting Others and Healing
11. When Someone You Love Is in an Abusive Relationship: Supporting Them While Caring for Yourself. For friends and family, this article acknowledges the helplessness, anger, fear, and resentment you may feel, and shows how to help safely.
12. Healing After Leaving an Abusive Partner: Finding Your Way Back to Yourself. Finish here. Learn what healing can look like, why you may still miss your former partner, and how to rebuild your life.
Abuse Can Happen to Anyone
Throughout this series, you'll notice that we speak to survivors of every gender, age, and sexual orientation. Domestic violence affects women and men, teens and adults, and people in opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. No matter who you are, what you're experiencing is real, and you deserve support.
If Any of These Articles Resonate With You
You may read something in this series and recognize your own relationship, your past, or the life of someone you love. That moment of recognition can feel overwhelming, frightening, or even like relief. Whatever you're feeling, it matters.
You don't need to be certain that what you're experiencing is abuse. You don't need a plan to leave, or to know exactly what to say. You just need to take one step, and reaching out is a strong one. Abuse thrives in silence and isolation. Support helps you see more clearly, stay safer, and start healing.
You also don't have to be in crisis to ask for help. Many people reach out because they feel confused, stuck, anxious, or simply exhausted. Others reach out years after a relationship ends because the effects still linger. Every one of those reasons is valid.
How PAWC Can Help
PAWC-affiliated therapists and psychiatric providers offer a safe, confidential, judgment-free space for survivors, parents, teens, and loved ones. They can help you:
- Make sense of what you've experienced and recognize unhealthy patterns.
- Build a safety plan and connect with domestic violence advocates and community resources.
- Heal from trauma, depression, anxiety, and sleep problems.
- Rebuild your confidence, boundaries, and sense of self.
- Support your children or a loved one while caring for yourself.
You can start with something as simple as, "I read your articles, and something sounded familiar. I'd like to talk to someone." You can ask about providers, appointment availability, insurance coverage, and expected costs. You don't need a diagnosis to reach out.
This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we hope this series helps you, or someone you care about, take that first step. You don't have to face this alone.
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References
American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). Domestic violence. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/domestic-violence
Hamby, S., Finkelhor, D., Turner, H., & Ormrod, R. (2011). Children's exposure to intimate partner violence and other family violence (NCJ 232272). U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/232272.pdf
National Network to End Domestic Violence. (2014, April 4). Join NNEDV & The Allstate Foundation as we say "No More!" to financial abuse this April. https://nnedv.org/latest_update/join-nnedv-the-allstate-foundation-as-we-say-no-more-to-financial-abuse-this-april/
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence. (2026). DVAM 2026: With survivors, always. VAWnet. https://vawnet.org/material/dvam-2026-survivors-always
